Monday, 24 September 2012

The carousel




Do you ever feel like you're on a merry go round? Going round and round and not realising you're stuck until you pass that same landmark for the tenth time.

I often feel like I’m going around in circles, and no matter how much I learn and think that I have grown, I fall into the same bad habits. One of my cycles is my tendency to react to feeling tired/sad/stressed or overwhelmed by making myself super busy and agreeing to a ridiculous amount of plans so I don't have to acknowledge what is really going on.

I have been known to book out entire weekends and weeknights with back to back catch ups, to the point of occupying a table in a coffee shop and having people lined up to meet me on the hour.

A perfect example is last week when I had breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner plans booked all in one day, and then convinced myself at 9pm I had to make muffins for the week ahead.

From the outside, I know this is insane, I know I am destined to fail and staying so busy with no down time is completely unsustainable.

But I don't do this on purpose, and most of the time I don't notice what I have done until I get sick or feel like I'm about to collapse. It’s only then that I'm prompted to stop and ask myself why... 

And there they are... weeks of endless plans rolling back at me like a bad midday movie. Anyone watching can see exactly where this is all going, but the leading lady is absolutely clueless and has no idea what's waiting around the corner.

So I did it again. For the last week I have felt so unbelievably exhausted that my energy levels, positive thinking and healthy eating have all gone out the window. I feel so tired, a little bit fluey and a tad sorry for myself.

Why oh why do I never learn? How do I not recognise the signs?

Do you have cycles or bad habits you routinely fall into?

(Image via 500px) 



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